Indulge Your Fantasy: A Beginner’s Guide to BDSM

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First thing’s first… what exactly is BDSM? BDSM umbrellas a wide variety of erotic practices including bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism. Levels of BDSM range from light to downright intense. BDSM is about exchange of power and generally includes a dominant person and a submissive person. If you’re ready dip your toes in the BDSM waters, there are a few things you should keep in mind before you dive right in.

 

  1. Make sure you’re with someone you trust. This is important. BDSM can seem scary or even dangerous- but it doesn’t have to be. When you’re with someone you trust, who you can easily communicate with, the fear of being harmed goes away and you can focus on a truly intimate and erotic experience.

 

  1. Communication is key. Since there are boundless possibilities with BDSM, and everyone’s comfort level is different, it’s important to talk with your partner beforehand about what will explicitly go down. Discuss what each of you is comfortable with and what your boundaries are, so there are no awkward or unpleasant surprises.

 

  1. Agree on a safe word. In case you reach a point you are not comfortable with, always have a safe word you both know. When either of you says the safe word- whatever you’re engaged with will cease immediately.

 

  1. Get started. What, already?! I know… there are many places to start. Let’s just spell it out:

BD – Bondage/Discipline – This includes different forms of restraining your partner, such as tying or binding. Typical equipment includes handcuffs, bondage tape, hogties, ropes, blindfolds, etc. Bondage can be used as a means to an end, or could be all you feel like doing. It’s up to you! The discipline aspect involves setting rules and punishments to go along with breaking these rules. In BDSM it’s important to remember… rules are made to be broken.

DS – Dominance/Submission – You and your partner should discuss beforehand who’s going to be the Dominant, and who will be the submissive. There are countless possibilities for how this could work, but some examples include sexual slavery, sexual/public humiliation, role-playing, forced chastity, corporal punishment, etc.

SM – Sadism/Masochism – the SM portion of BDSM is the most physical aspect of all three sectors. This is deriving pleasure from pain or humiliation, whether you are giving it or receiving it. This is biting, spanking, whipping, hot wax, slapping, dirty talk, electro play, and many other scenarios. It’s very important when dabbling in sadomasochism that you’ve definitely followed steps 1, 2, and 3.

 

 

Ready to indulge your fantasy? Check out our suggestions for easy beginner gear to play with:

Handcuffs

Blindfolds

Paddles, Crops, Floggers

Or to really simplify, here are some kits already put together for you:

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Intro to S & M Kit

 

beginners-bondage-kit
Beginners Bondage Kit

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