What It Does: Gun Oil is premium, condom-safe lubricant that keeps a man's most important weapon well oiled. If the military issued a lube, this is what they'd distribute with the condoms and artillery. During Operation Desert Storm, Marines jacked off with actual military-issue gun oil while hunkered down in the trenches of Kuwaiti battlefields. A group of those marines has developed a high-tech, condom-safe formula for smooth, rapid-fire action. This silicone-based lube keeps a Private's parts well-lubricated with added Vitamin E and Aloe Vera for longer lasting, slicker ride and minimized skin irritation.

Pleasure Points: The ultra-concentrated formula is designed to out-perform comparable top-shelf products - a few drops lubricate thoroughly without breaking down or drying out.