To celebrate national singles day, I indulged in my own leisurely hour of self-care. Then texted a few singletons to ask: What’s your favorite sex toy? And what do you love about solo sex?
Let’s Talk About (Solo) Sex
In celebration of National Singles Day, I’m spending some time listing the joys of single life. Off the top of my head? No one else’s shady financial decisions are ruining my credit, I have full autonomy over my decisions (and their consequences), and I can fully delight in what I call The Pleasure Potential. Any day of the week, magic can happen; some new person can parachute into my life and make my insides feel like an F5 glitter tornado. Of course, solo sex also makes the list—thanks in part to the marvels of modern technology.
Besides indulging in my own leisurely hour of self-care (thank you, lazy Sunday; thank you Womanizer), I texted a few singletons to ask two crucial questions: What’s your favorite sex toy? And what do you love about solo sex?
My 20-something friend Liz—who’s “dyke-identified and somewhat nonbinary in a gentle way”—wrote to say “I’m sometimes really turned on by the force of my own desire. It's like this pure loop of wanting and being wanted that can get really strong without anybody else's issues to interrupt it. Also, it’s great for allowing me to act on female desire without hesitating for permission, worrying about my insecurities, or struggling with someone else's timing. All of that makes me feel very powerful.”
The Toy That Changed Everything
Jen, a bisexual friend in her thirties said, “I cultivated an early explorative relationship with myself and masturbation. For years, well into my 20s, I never watched videos or used anything more than my own touch to get myself off. Then once during a threesome, my friend brought out her Magic Wand. That toy changed everything. I’d tried vibration before, but wasn’t interested. The Magic Wand changed that. Now I often incorporate toys when I’m alone—but that’s still the ultimate.”
“Strongly Disagree,” Krista, a straight friend in her forties chimed in. “Are you kidding? Using that thing is like being excavated by a jackhammer. It feels like I’m being electrocuted down there.”
“Disagree with your disagree,” texted Jasmyn, also in her forties. “It’s the best. I kept killing my rabbits.”
Don’t Forget the G-Spot
Liz admitted she’s too broke at the moment to have the sex toy of her dreams. “Finding the perfect one is a pretty big investment. My Lelo vibrator is absolutely lovely and has served me well, but she's getting a little tired lately. It would be fun to have more options to play with, but at the moment there’s no spare cash for that.”
Chloe, a thirty-something straight friend says her favorite toy is a stainless steel g-spot stimulator. “I was apprehensive about stainless steel at first,” she wrote. “But it really is great. I feel like silicone can create a lot of friction. Stainless is hard, obviously—but it’s also completely smooth so it’s gentle on delicate skin. I also really like that the steel warms up to body temperature—or can be cooled down, if you’re into that. Plus, it’s not porous so it can be sanitized completely. Best of all, I don’t have to worry about batteries, and it’ll never wear out or break—so I always know it’ll outlast me! I don’t need any lube because the toy slides so easily; but I really like using CBD lube. It makes everything feel even more sensitive—not tingly or warm, just very heightened.
What’s Your Favorite Sex Toy?
Personally, I’m often partial to a glass of bourbon and the bathtub faucet. Which isn’t to say I don’t also enjoy my brimming box of toys.
Not surprisingly, this conversation's got me curious about everyone’s favorite solo sex accessory. And how that choice can change, depending on the mood.
(Leans forward, puts chin in hands). So tell me everything.
Leave a note in the comments about how—and where—your favorite sex toy works its wonders. Who knows, your story could end up in a future Lovers series.